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I think I've finally figured out why I was getting uncomfortable.  It has to do with some rather unpleasant things that have happened to me.  Y'know, I was just remembering, rather fondly, one slash ship I never minded, Tara/Willow.  Now while I realise guys need love too, I began to wonder why a certain  pair of guy/guy ships were bugging me so much, and not even all guy/guy ships either.  Without getting too deep into detail that none of you probably want, while I was reading someone's Plaude story, it occurred to me what bothered me.  See, other than say a 69, there's only one way I know for a male slash to dance...  Let me just say I have some rather painful and degrading memories of same, and while I know that there are those who enjoy such things, I am not one, nor do I think I ever will be able to.  I had a rather careless, demanding, and selfish partner in the past.  I had made a comment in another entry here about "Why can't I just pretend I'm Peter"  when reading a Plaude fic, since of all the characters, Peter is the closest to being me in real life any way (despite that he's a guy). So I read and tried to do just that.  Meaning no disrespect to any of you writers out there, I think you are very talented individuals, but having been the recipient of such... treatment in the past, regardless of how much (or well) it is described as otherwise, I cannot imagine such an encounter as anything but painful.  I'd rather die a thousand painful deaths than be subjected to undergoing that again, myself. So this is probably why I cringe when I read about a character I'm playing/pretending-to-be-just-while-I-read/ wanting-to-dance-with going thru this. I dunno, maybe if the Haitian could come over here and erase that, it wouldn't bother me.

update: 9/16/07- It's a bit more complicated than what I posted above.  I realized that after a lengthy conversation in another thread later on in this journal.  More so than Peter, I  identify more with Claude.  The more "Plaude" I see out there, the more upset I am becoming.  For more details see this entry and the subsequent conversation thread.




( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 21st, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
*Would love to employ the Haitian's powers, and not for slashy reasons*

*hug* I'm sorry dear.

So.... are you okay with it if it doesn't get to full-out dancing then? (best euphemism ever) Or does the whole thing just not work?

And if it makes you uncomfortable then there's no need to make yourself read a pairing that bothers you- just encourage people to write gen or het ^^ Fandom needs more of both.
Apr. 22nd, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
I was enjoying the banter with big_bad_glasses/fantasticpants over in heroesooc. I don't mind interacting in RP (something tells me that there may be an onscreen showdown at some point). As far as fic goes, you guys write whatever makes you happy. This morning's fic reading was an attempt by me to figure out precisely what was bothering me.
Apr. 22nd, 2007 01:09 am (UTC)
Well at least you've got it narrowed down. See, I can't read or write femslash myself. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Being a bi female, you'd think I'd be able. But it hurts my brain to even wrap my thoughts around it.

*shrug* We all have our things I guess. I'm just glad you've gotten some reasoning behind it.
May. 1st, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
Sorry this is so long after you posted. I keep getting very behind on my flist.

I'm sorry that happened to you *hugs*

Also, I really loved Willow/Tara as well, and I love girlslash. Possibly even more than boyslash on some days.

But just one thing, as a proponent of there being many ways to dance in m/m slash, there are other ways. I won't go into detail, but they do exist.

However, I am aware that at least 90% of explicit m/m does have that one particular way of dancing and you have to really look for the ones that don't.

But I totally get the painful memories.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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